Accountability Not Blame

by Siavash Tabrizy, Ph.D.

In this uncertain world, where everything is in constant change nothing inherently has its own identity; one may want to closely examine the attachment to their own thoughts, ideas, beliefs and prejudice. Nothing in this illusory world has its won identity, visible or invisible; human beings, animals, plants and family.

The entire universe is in a constant cycle of change; of coming alive and dying moment by moment. We can detect tissue dying in a fetus s early as 5 weeks old through a process called Apoptosis. This process begins at the beginning of the 6th week due to death of cells at the web between the fingers, which provides a space for the appearances of our present fingers. This cycle of life cycle of life is in a constant death and resurrection. Therefore what comes eventually goes, what gathers will disperse. Our attachment to the illusory world even with the awareness of death and resurrection brings much suffering to humanity. Buddha was specifically in search of the source of suffering in this world and his 4 Nobel Truths shed light on this issue and its remedy. It is also not a surprise that in the end we all will die but we don not know when and how. Therefore in this short existence of ours, which is a “blink of any eye” in comparison to the cosmic calendar, we would rather support our egotistical existence than our own inner being. We would rather support our pride, anger, fear, and envy, than our love, sincerity and compassion. Our hearts are full of negative emotions that have not left any room for love. We have divided our hearts into sections of loving, hating or being indifferent to others around us. We have separated ourselves from others due to our own prejudices of race, color, ethnicity, mental and physical challenges and different shapes of bodies. We have separated ourselves from ourselves, from our inner being and created this deep loneliness and alienation, which has brought anxiety, fear wars and hatred to all of humanity. The 12th century poet Rumi says, “Father your love descends upon me and love of my heart ascends to you and what separates us is my ego”. We are the creators of our own separations. There is a Sufi saying that God says there are 70 thousand veils between you and I but there is no veil between me and you. We have lost touch with our own humanity; we point our fingers at others, accusing, attacking, hating and separating ourselves from others. We hate those pedophiles, angry people, rapists, lustful people and many others with many different labels.
We forget that these individuals were once infants and children with dreams and aspirations of being a better human being. Can you imagine at the time of their birth, when their parents held them in their arms with enthusiasm? Did they say to themselves, “I am going to raise my child to be a drug addict or pedophile? I don’t think so. Everyone wants to raise a better person and give them more than what they received.
It is time for all of us to examine ourselves before pointing fingers. Examine our ego, where in its deep unconscious may exist murders thieves and many other aspects that we hate about others and the world. All things come alive and die. Fortunate are those who die within themselves moment by moment. Lucky are those who address their own evil and ego judging others. We all commit crimes to different degrees in our lives, crimes against our own inner being and our own divine mother who loves us unconditionally. Buddha recommends looking upon all people as one’s own children. Loving men and women as if we were their mothers is a high ideal. We are all suffering; let us have compassion for all suffering beings including the pedophile priest who are under much accusation and pain. Both the abused and the abuser are suffering. Please keep in mind, and in your heart, that we label the thief, the murderer and the pedophile as such until we have one in our own family. Can you imagine the pain of that! When we have compassion for all sentient beings regardless of whom they or what they have done, it is a win/win situation. I emphatically state that everyone is accountable for their actions but le us not inflame the situation by blaming and attacking.
Buddha’s second of the 4 divine abodes of highest emotion is compassion, whose far away enemy is cruelty and whose near enemy is pity. It is important that we begin to develop compassion for others and ourselves and reflect on the Gospel of Master Jesus. When people brought the accused prostitute to be stoned to death, he stated to the accusers, “let the one who has not sinned cast the first stone.”
Love and peace.