Are You Eating Your Anger or is Your Anger Eating You?

by Siavash Tabrizy, Ph.D.

Understanding the nature and treatment of anger/rage has long been an interest of mine. Due to my own childhood experiences as well as my struggles in adulthood, I have researched, studied and conducted many anger/rage workshops in the last fifteen years. As a result I can easily testify about the difficulties of dealing with this issue. Let me begin with this story: Once upon a time a young couple climbed a high mountain in search of a wise man in order to receive some answers to life's difficult questions. After they found him, they began their questions. They asked him about the meaning of life, secrets of the universe and happiness. The wise old man, openly offered them great answers. Finally they asked the most difficult questions of all:" Dear wise man, we are angry very often, which has caused us much heartache and hurt. Please guide us to resolution". The wise old man got up, threw his pen, cursed out loud, began pacing the room and yelled "If I had an answer to this question, I would be down there with the others and not sitting here all alone!"We all have experienced or been exposed to situations where anger/rage has been projected by or on us. It can be scary. The by-product of rage is physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual damage to both the projector as well as the receiver. I separate anger and rage in the following ways:Rage is about the occurrence of the events in the past, is accumulated anger, out of control (screaming, yelling, throwing?) with a great deal of projection and accusation of the other. Anger on the other hand is in the present, almost never out of control with personal ownership of presenter. Nevertheless anger is a negative emotion and can be destructive and needs to be dealt with. Anger is energy and since energy does not die, it needs to be utilized in a proper fashion. Science is now able to find a correlation between unexpressed/over-expressed anger and many physical ailments, ie. Cancer, migraine, ulcer, upper G.I.
Consequently, one cannot go about ignoring their anger or wasting this energy. Since none of us received an owner's manual about how to deal with life's difficulties, we deal with life's calamities in accord with our own past experiences or unconscious and conscious training from our primary childhood caregivers by repeating what they did to us or emulating the exact opposite of their behavior. Both responses are non productive because the individual is not free to act as him/herself, consequently taking away the opportunity to be him/herself. The chart below describes the physiology of anger.
The process of anger is both psychological and spiritual. Anger is a natural part of our personality but not of our consciousness. Our personality is an acquired part of us, which is a bundle of memories, habits, behaviors and thoughts, which is reactive rather than responsive. It is the nature of the beast. Since our personality does not have a way to metabolize anger internally, one must begin to acquire consciousness, then we can activate this digestive system that can transform this ancient phenomenon (Anger) into positive energy.
T.L.C.'s four levels of rage/anger workshop, utilizes Eastern and Western as well as modern and ancient psychology, in order to accomplish this important task.
Automatic Nervous System
Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS)
Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS)
Activates Flight or Fight Response
Deactivates Flight or Fight Response
Adrenaline Release
Adrenaline Broken Down
Heart Rate & Blood Pressure Increases
Gradual Return to State of Calm
The Automatic Nervous System has two components: the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) and the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS). One can observe in this chart how these two systems work together to either activate or deactivate the fight or flight system. Understanding the physiology of anger has important implications for dealing with anger in that when you make yourself angry you activate the SNS. Which brings up those symptoms of increased heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, sweating and rapid shallow breathing.
The release of other chemicals will down the adrenaline in your system and the PNS will intervene to help calm down. There are things that you can do to facilitate the process before PNS kicks in. I always had a hard time with the idea of anger management. It sounded like compartmentalizing the anger and not dealing with the roots. I utilize anger transmutation process, which helps the individual to transform this negative emotion into a highly energizing process that can be used to increase your level of energy.